I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
