I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
