the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
