there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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