I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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