Can i not drive my cunt home
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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