Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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