his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Terrible idea I love it
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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