ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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