thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
