She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
