my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize