a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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