Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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