so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
