i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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