i dedicated my morning wood to you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
