Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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