he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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