Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize