no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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