AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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