i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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