She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
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