Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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