you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize