saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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