What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
