we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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