i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
