lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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