seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize