so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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