so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
