New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have fence marks all over my body
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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