is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
