It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
