This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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