batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The power of my boobs compel you
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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