How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize