I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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