guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize