i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
