Already got asked if we're dating
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize