I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I forget how to act sober
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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