thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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