the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
