Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
