he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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