We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
