is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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