Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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