Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I will be naked everywhere
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
