Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
