weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
