I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
