There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
