This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
