i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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