yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
