As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
